its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed