I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.