I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
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I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
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I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him