Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.