normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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