how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
