yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
