They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
