Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So many bounce houses so little time
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My liver just had a heart attack.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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