Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
