How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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