I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
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once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
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You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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