Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
