Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
