There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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