I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Randomize
