Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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