id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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