i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
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My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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