oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
