And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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