her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
