Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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