i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
