Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
