You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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