so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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