I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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