i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
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