i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
