how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
