I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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