I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize