we have officially lost it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
