New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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