Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I don't think brook has ever known best
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
