I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
sarcasm needs its own font
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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