I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
