Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize