no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize