he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i think i just lost a toe
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
