Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
