Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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