did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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