Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
