Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
