okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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