You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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