But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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