Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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