This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
