I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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