so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
What a dumb baby whore.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
