This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize