you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
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It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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