Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I forgot how hot balto sounded
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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