I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's never too late to be topless.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
