I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
