Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
