tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
