Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
