my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
