there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
