Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
love makes seman taste better
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.