Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.