Texts From Last Night

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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator

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  (423): I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator http://tfl.nu/6zcj
  Replies (27) Good night (1276) Bad night (4642)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.

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  (201): I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football. http://tfl.nu/9dil
  Replies (35) Good night (2927) Bad night (2970)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on

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  (818): All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on http://tfl.nu/912s
  Replies (10) Good night (3394) Bad night (1373)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins

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  (757): Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank" (201): hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins http://tfl.nu/g5wh
  Replies (41) Good night (4461) Bad night (1308)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.

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  (541): Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid. http://tfl.nu/2ym3
  Replies (25) Good night (7496) Bad night (825)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?

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  (207): well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work? http://tfl.nu/5z5c
  Replies (10) Good night (3127) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.

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  (647): the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is. http://tfl.nu/ndxc
  Replies (8) Good night (4389) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear

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  (805): No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear http://tfl.nu/ak00
  Replies (5) Good night (1556) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.

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  (513): Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that. http://tfl.nu/9urh
  Replies (1) Good night (1550) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally

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  (203): i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes (203): i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally http://tfl.nu/ln5z
  Replies (3) Good night (700) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.

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  (801): He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class. http://tfl.nu/8fc4
  Replies (1) Good night (318) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?

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  (+44): are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper? http://tfl.nu/40vp
  Replies (3) Good night (790) Bad night (243)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.

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  (620): We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home. http://tfl.nu/ulp5
  Replies (2) Good night (422) Bad night (180)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets

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  (902): dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets http://tfl.nu/zyuz
  Replies (4) Good night (512) Bad night (210)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.

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  (412): What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC. http://tfl.nu/n5ed
  Replies (13) Good night (306) Bad night (492)

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