I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger