Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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