Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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