evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Randomize
