there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
