i barfeds in our rink
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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