I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
