idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
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So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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