Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize