i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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